Right before

I bury my arse into the cushion for the next 3 hours, here's an effort to write some nonsense and bring the post count nearer to 100.

These are the times when people like you and me get stressed, worried, and suicidal. Don't get me wrong, when you are in a bad mood you tend to not bother too much about your surroundings and might end up getting yourself into some trouble because you were not thinking well. A friend of mine was whining to me how the exams is really a problem recently, and I thought, it's natural to me worried about exams and all, but don't let it get to you. When I asked her (yes, her) what was she worried about she said that she haven't been following the lectures and readings well enough to understand the module topics... and basically run into some trouble here and there.

Well, at this point of time in the semester, there's nothing much anyone can do, cos' most of the reading and thinking ought to be have done when you're under no stress, and are relatively engaged with your stuff and all... Not when the last time you've read chapter 1 was the start of this sem. I guess at this point of time it's more of recollection, more of... summary and conclusion, so at best, you should get the basics during the time you have now... and just do a run-through of what you already have or know for the mods...

Yeah...

But hell that ain't the point of this post. Most poeple are fretting because they have not done much throughout the sem and thus they have justification to be worried. Thing is, if you've done you homework, tutorials readings and thought through stuff the whole sem, and you have come up a good exam-study plan to prepare you for the exams, then there should be no reason why you'd be worried lah.

Except perhaps the unpredictability of things tomorrow. Well, just be cool about it... and put your worries away. Worry is good in that it makes you more alert and less careless over your prep at this point of time, but if too much latches onto you then you probably can't perform at your optimum. The whole idea is to believe in your preparation and whole semester work so that you can be free at the exams.

Gawd it certainly sounds like I'm having a great time this sem. I guess that's what you get when you become a social recluse.

It really seems that I can no longer write fucked up posts these days. I don't even go online anymore these days. I only play the guitar like in the morning first thing when I wake up. I really feel that a part of me has lost its potency.

Because I have been tricking myself all this while. Cos' I am pessimistic, and jaded, disillusioned... but I've chosen to fool myself with tools so that I have something to hope in. Tools like "There's always hope in tomorrow." Damn hell there's always unpredictability in tomorrow that's why there's always hope tomorrow, cos it's a 50-50 chance it is Wonderful or Hell the next day.

And you know, it's a pretty powerful tool cos it has stopped me so many times from falling. And falling. and falling.

Reality is pretty stark and tomorrow offers little. But if you know how to work with little you can influence your reality.