I Am Emo. Yes.

It's been a while since anyone looked straight into my heart and really understood.

It isn't everyday that you get people who see right through you, and know the world of pain and agony that you're going through inside.

I marvel at these people who are able to see beyond this facade that I put up, day in and day out, just to conceal the tumultuous experiences I go through in my days.

I don't know why - everytime I try to open up and let something in, I always feel that feeling of caution. I do not want to be hurt again. Cos when it hurts, it hurts really badly and I don't want the pain to interfere with my daily proceedings.

I want to open up. And I force myself to. Because opening up and letting things in is supposed to be good for me. But everytime I do so there is a high chance of me getting hurt, at the sides.

When I get hurt, pain comes - then I feel anger. Anger swells in me everytime it hurts when I open up and let things in. Anger against the pain. Anger that the stupid wound is not healing.

When you let something in something's got to let that something in. The spoon that you use to let food in can hurt you too. I've learnt that when it hurts, that I should never, ever, let too many things in. They hurt more and aggravate my feelings even more.

Lately I have a discovery. It seems the act of opening up, wide, makes my wound even more vulnerable to the air around. You never know when there are critters hiding around waiting to rub onto your wound. It's like a reflex thing - your body hurts you to let you know that you're too open to the outside.

I've tried many ways to stop the pain and heal the wound. I've tried everything from salt solution to mouth gargle to bonjella cream to eating more fruits and drinking more water, to not taking in big-sizes of food pieces and cut down on sweets. Some work, some don't at all.

One thing's for certain though. When a pain like the pain of a mouth ulcer kills your emotions and makes you angry all the time, as with previous mouth ulcer experiences, time is the only platform that allows your mouth to heal itself. Meanwhile, you'd only do well to cover that ulcer well!