things I'm really proud of

and of course things that I'm not really pleased about.

It strays far from what you think you should be, what you want yourself to be, when your demeanour is taken over by your overwhelming individuality such that you become stuck in yourself for a while.

Then you do things that aren't really cool.

So you should take frequent times to meditate, set yourself in a state of stasis, and just let the warm aura shroud over your body and being, calibrating your image and your form with a balance found in your innermost being.

I need to affirm my being again. Away from over-individualistic properties.




Thus, I have taken up swimming.

It's about the next thing I'm really proud of after the guitar.

No fixed teachers, no instructors to guide-you-as-you-progress. No. All learnt from observation, reasoning, intellect and many youtube videos.

After around 14 years of learning how to swim, I finally learnt how to swim 1 fortnight ago.

It's really something I'm proud of.



At first you can't just take your eyes away from the numerous bikini swimmers in the pool next to you, coming towards you, behind you, at the far end of the pool, at the audience seats. Then you suddenly realise that the pool is also filled with over 5 groups of 8 kids each, already moving like fish inside water despite being 1/3 of the height of the pool. When the instructor gives the command, suddenly the horizontal traffic starts and a school of mobile young tots forms a barricade between you and the really sexy girl at the opposite end of the pool.

The entire swimming session becomes fruitless instantly. With so many kids swimming around and diving around and also adults swimming butterfly style making fountains out of the water beside your face, you really wonder if all this is a cruel joke set on you to drag your animalistic impulses. Grrrrrauww.

Which brings me to my solution. Change my idea of what swimming sessions are about. Because it is a time when you commune with an aspect of nature other than air, never-mind the chlorinated garnishing, it is the perfect time to also commune with your soul and being. Once you recognise how wonderful the water is for spiritual realignment and meditation, you will never see the swimming pool near your house in the same way again.

It's about the best thing you can do in the pool. Let the ephemeral images of sexy women and pretty PRC babes pass you by, like a fleeting existence that will eventually slip away from your mind. Beauty is not found in looking at bikinis and swimsuits and butterfly-style swimming patterns. It is found in the frogstyle swimming technique, when you seem to be working a heck lot outta your muscles and joints but nevertheless only move an inch a time. Isn't that amazing?



I was told sometime back, that the vocalist for the grindcore band Napalm Death was seen running on a treadmill in a gym in KL and going, "Rrroooooooorrrrrrrrrrr. Rrroooooooooor. hnnnnngg - Rrroooooooooooooooooooooorrrrr."

I was tempted to try my swimming-zen version of vocal training. So balancing myself on my feet, I dived into the swimming pool, and Rrroored.



I choked.